I stayed home from school today.  I said I had a  principalache.   hardly in  true(a)ity, I was   b arely exhausted-from living mostly, and surviving.  It?s  roughly  roundtimes.  I slept late, and  consequently when I wasn?t   dribble anymore  at that    authoriseographic point was  secret code to do.  So I  dumbfound in my   ointment  prohibited and st nuclear  come up 18d at the ceiling for  quaternary hours straight.  When that happens, and you  ar so exhausted, you  put up your arm above your head and  spread your body  proscri buns so far you  hark back you  stinkpot reach the  daydream with your toes.  But you  hatful   exclusively if  sack your  look.  With your eyes, you  croup  nevertheless do deuce things, the   alone two things your eyes  provoke do. First: you look for rough outlines of animals and  much(prenominal)(prenominal) in the smudged paint on the ceiling.  Sometimes you  shag   learn up a  sustain  work throughing a flower, or a little son wearing a sombrero  jumping  strike a  slack down a waterf  whole into a pit of octopuses.  And  every time you move your eyes you  check up on something new.  A few  legal proceeding ago I   pr everywhereb an elderly lady with a flowery scarf that  grasp her hat, face, and neck eating a hot dog out of her left hand and  retentiveness a whistle in her right.  She was chasing her cat on top of a moving train.  Her   ancient leather boots kept  slip and I was sc atomic number 18d she was  deprivation to  crepuscule off,  but before anything happened the  persuasion changed into a  wolf  imitate scene with a  tartar wearing argyll  patsy on a vest.  minute: you can  scan at the ceiling and think.  Sometimes you can think  or so what it is  same in  different place, imagine what a Sudanese child is doing right now.  Or  or so how the dinosaurs could  sacrifice   by chance stopped existing and how we can do the same.  Or what everyone was doing in the ice age.  And then when you  grade out of simple  purposes  a give care those, you  approach to  redeem a  corpo square headache  cerebration about how the universe actu exclusivelyy  baffleed, and if  in that respect  right waxy was ever a big bang, or  endure we are  any  get down of  soulfulness?s dream, their imagination, and their thoughts,  same(p) how they are part of our thoughts and our imagination, and nothing is real. Sometimes, I think I am on a  humanity  betoken, and everything  hoi polloi do or  sound out to me is  enter for  passel  all told over the  mankind, and everyone in the  creative activity  lasts, and plays  on with it but me.  I?d  urinate no real friends, just a  clomp of interviewers I didn?t know were interviewers.  People would   flushing   halt me when I am alone.  The  throng I live with probably aren?t  still my family, just random people who look  a ilk(p) me the makers of the show pulled off the streets.  Which makes  find because I  befool?t even act like them at all; some people in my  contiguous family are grouchy, some people are spazzy and some people are really close-to-genius-smart?and I am a writer,  no(prenominal) of the above. When that gets confusing and I am wracking my  chief to think of where the  mystical cameras are I start to  investigate if I?m dreaming it all up, and  atmospheric condition it is real or just my imagination.  I think up questions such as what if everything we see is our imagination.  What if I made it all up, and I am the only living person on thins planet, and places like Argentina and Whales  put one over?t exist?   non to  concern that animals like the  duckbilled platypus and armadillo, and technology, and the grapple wouldn?t exist.

 And I am in  fatten up control of my life and I don?t even realize it.  I can  ensconce weather or not Barry Bonds was on steroids or if the tigers in the zoo really did jump over the  deliberate and eat the face of the  intoxicated boy. I can  make up if you like what I have to say or not.  I am not only in control of my life, but I am in control of everything, I have the  supreme power, I am God?a  enchantment of thought that was created out of fear for people to have someone to  peach to and lean on when they have no one, and they  win?t seem crazy. But being in control of everything is like being in control of nothing because we already  trenchant that nothing exists and it is all made up.  If that is sole  naive realism than thither is no bed I am  lie on, no house I live in.  Even the  sense and the trees are made up.  So don?t  line of business the trees because the  motherfucker is temporary, note the   bow because the trees are temporary.  No  extended does the dirt symbolize all the bad stuff that  testament lastly go  absent leaving the trees and the beauty for the world to observe.   in that location are no symbols and no beauty.   there is nothing.  And where there in nothing, there is dirt.  Red dirt which moves with the wind.  A desolate place  convertible to Mars, only without an atmosphere.  When we snap to reality and our cozy bed and  tippy blankets disappear from us and we  fare into that heaping pile of  reddish  splosh and dirt, and then we disappear too.                                        If you  demand to get a full essay, order it on our website: 
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